Comments on: Resist the Urge to Be The Fixer

By: Heard On The Blogosphere This Week « Musings from the Moonroom

Fri, 06 May 2011 22:10:22 +0000

[…] cannot help those who are not ready to receive it: Alyson Stanfield shared an excellent post from her archives reminding us to resist the urge to be fixers. Her focus is on artists but you can easily change the […]

]]>

By: QuinnCreative

Wed, 27 Apr 2011 16:56:02 +0000

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this vital post. Fixing doesn’t work and sounds a LOT like judging. Fixing leads to arguments because the fixer sounds like a pedantic, patronizing know-it-all and the fixee feels dumb and small. It is a huge issue in my creativity coaching practice–on both sides, fixer and fixee. You can’t push a string.

]]>

By: Judy Adamson

Sun, 03 Oct 2010 13:19:58 +0000

Very interesting post – thank you!

It’s made me think and the conclusion I’ve come to is that I’m often in the opposite position when it comes to helping other artists with their art (not the business side of things!). So many people have suggested I should teach art over the years and they’re still doing it but beyond giving encouragement, it’s something I’m unwilling to do. Not because I don’t want to be helpful but because I’m not sure to what extent art can be taught. We all have to find our own way and at our own speed.

When it comes to making suggestions or giving advice, I think it’s fine to do that in a blog post because then people can take it or leave it and it needn’t affect anyone’s relationships. But I do, I hope, avoid using ‘musts’ and ‘shoulds’ and always make it clear that I’m just putting forward suggestions and that nothing is written in stone.

I have a background in teaching (literacy mostly) and I do have a very strong urge to see everyone realise their potential in all sorts of ways. I hate waste, in particular, wasted potential. But one of my favourite quotes that stops me wading in and over-helping, is: ‘Beware of ghosties and ghoulies and people who are only trying to help!’

]]>

By: Opportunities You Should Turn Down — Art Biz Blog

Wed, 19 May 2010 18:45:31 +0000

[…] Resist the urge to be the solution to everyone else’s problems. […]

]]>

By: When do you leave the anchors behind and when do you pull them along? — Art Biz Blog

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:32:51 +0000

[…] I do think we need to give ourselves permission be self-serving at times. We can’t take care of others until we take care of ourselves first. Some anchors are easier to pull along than others, don’t […]

]]>

By: Marie Kazalia

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 18:02:09 +0000

Thanks Alyson, for your insightful comment to my post. I gave it some thought and wonder why I am so often a dunce about such things as jealousy.
When discussing the film *How To Draw A Bunny*, I mentioned that I had studied with poet Diane di Prima for 3 years. Diane was filmed for How To Draw A Bunny, since she knew Ray Johnson, but her part was edited out and only viewable on the DVD in the extras. Others have told me that they knew Ray Johnson too. I’ve received emails and made connections due to this. It’s an interesting conversation topic, IMO. There are lots of famous people and they are famous because they know a lot of people, that’s kind of how it works…I wonder why people do’t realize this more…

]]>

By: Moshe Mikanovsky

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 16:37:22 +0000

Thanks Alyson for this article!
I would love actually one day to have a young artist approaching me and ask me for the help. This is exactly what I have done recently with several experienced artists, and not all of them were “Fixers”… meaning, there are both sides for this “relationship” and not everyone are willing to receive help, like not everyone is willing to give it….
I am blessed that one of the artists did have the inclination to be a Fixer, and i am doing my best to listen to his advices…

]]>

By: Original Watercolour

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:14:24 +0000

Original watercolour & contemporary paintings by British landscape artist MJ Forster. View or buy contemporary art prints & paintings online.

]]>

By: Jennie Rosenbaum

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 04:04:12 +0000

Thankyou Alyson, I’ve been pouring a lot of my energy into an online community. I was hoping to energize other artists like myself and get them excited about furthering their careers. instead I get complaints when nothing is happening and no responses when I set up challenges or opportunities. they sound excited about the ideas and then do nothing when it is time to act. your letter has come at an excellent time for me, I will continue with the group but I am no longer going to put energy I don’t have into an energy drain. thanks for reminding me – I do like to be a fiixer!

]]>

By: Sari Grove

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:09:29 +0000

Yes, you dear sweet “called to the job” healer…You know when the other person is ready…& we all love you for it…

]]>