Comments on: Have You Lost Friendships Because You Are An Artist? (Curious Monday)

By: Joy J. Rotblatt

Tue, 02 Aug 2016 02:03:55 +0000

I have found that when I say I am an artist, people usually are really interested in what I do, what kind of work, what medium, when I say encaustic painter, that opens a whole realm of discussion that leads to me showing them photos of my work.

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By: Michael Joyal

Tue, 21 Jun 2016 15:19:39 +0000

I haven’t lost any friends (that I know of) but it has caused some stress between me and my spouse. She sees what I do and has taken some introductory classes through local artists here (drawing & watercolour) and keeps asking for feedback and advice. She used to paint in high school. It feels more like teaching, which I have never wanted to do and with her esteem, she is requiring lots of encouragement. It all pushes my boundary buttons and takes away from my art.

Boundaries and patience are what I need to learn. She needs to learn it has taken me 20 years to get to this level of craftsmanship.

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By: Chelle

Tue, 14 Jun 2016 02:50:32 +0000

In reply to Steve Harlow.

Some people have no idea! It really gets on my nerves when people say they understand what it is like for an artist and then demand I spend time with them. You stick to your guns Steve and don’t listen to anyone who tells you your art is not important. Your creativity and passion come first 🙂

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By: Orla

Mon, 13 Jun 2016 12:35:17 +0000

I choose not to look at it as loosing friends….. but more connecting with and spending your time with people who get you and support you, and that tends to be other creative people.

Artists in all the areas of the Arts really need the support of good positive fellow Artist friends. As I’m sure Medical Doctors need the support of fellow MDs – we all need support from our tribes whoever there are :o)

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By: Honey Lea

Sun, 12 Jun 2016 19:27:24 +0000

In reply to Regina Lord.

Regina, first of all…good for you for making a big decision in your own best interests! I can imagine what it took to do that because I struggled most of my life with having one foot in nursing and one in art.

I spent decades (literally!) trying to figure out a way to bring my love for both science and art into some kind of alignment. I finally did by developing and creating Life Journey Portraits. My skills as a psych nurse and as an artist are the foundation of these interview-based portraits of a person’s self-defining memories. But, although, I was able to craft a practice doing both, I never really fit either as a nurse or as an academic though I did schlog through all the required hoops. I don’t have any regrets because I loved teaching and students often could really relate to my work. And I like to think I helped the students who, like me, had both interests. (I may be deluding myself here).

Eventually, I found my “peeps” in the Society for the Arts in Healthcare” (now renamed Global Alliance for the Arts in Healthcare, I think). There are all kinds of artists, caregivers, designers, architects, physicians, nurses, social workers, psychologists in the group. It was a big help to know I had a lot of good company and I found so much support for my work there.

One year I was a participant in a study looking at the experience of nurses who are also artists (turns out there are lot of us) done by Leslie Skillman., PhD., RN. She discovered that nurse-artists found being both things pretty difficult to live with ( as you, no doubt, know) . To solve this difficulty, some nurses in her study left art, some left nursing and some, like me, tried to pull the two together somehow. All are legitimate solutions! But each has a cost. It just depends on which cost you are willing to pay.

You know you have made the right decision for you! Maybe in time, your mother-in-law will come around especially seeing you ( and by extension, her son) so much happier.

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By: Honey Lea

Sun, 12 Jun 2016 18:38:08 +0000

In reply to Kate Stockman.

“Half a bubble off-center”. What a terrific description of those of us that just don’t quite fit! Thanks for sharing that.

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By: Tami Bone

Sun, 12 Jun 2016 13:42:05 +0000

Great question, Alyson! I have dear friendships with other artists, although have experienced difficulties with several family members because of my own drive to make art AND to have a business. It seems that people are either very interested and supportive, or they are dismissive. I spend a lot of time caring for my mother, who has poor health. She sees my art-making and business as time taken away from my attention on her, so it’s a constant struggle to keep some sort of boundaries, even though I have help with caregivers and see her 4-5 times a week. This has been going on for years. My half-sister says that her goal in life is to have fun, with socializing and golf, and that I’m working too hard and that I need to “have more fun”. And I admit to getting irritated by the constant comparison, which is, naturally, my own issue. I would like to say that her idea of fun sounds soul-crushing to me, but I don’t because I know that we’re wired differently, and that’s okay and as it should be. I guess the difficulty comes from the feeling of needing to explain myself. Why do artists have to explain themselves? I know the answer is, you don’t. Gloria Clifford’s response above, about sometimes being highly misunderstood so resonates with me.

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By: Andrew

Sat, 11 Jun 2016 18:04:37 +0000

Quite the opposite in fact.

I made the mistake of thinking I would lose friends and family so I pursued a degree and a “career” path that was a REAL job and tried my best to ignore the beck and call of art. When I could no longer deny the pull back into art, I found a wealth of friendships, and the familial disappointment wasn’t there. The only disappointment was mine.

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By: Kate Stockman

Sat, 11 Jun 2016 13:34:21 +0000

I can’t think of LOSING any friends b/c I am an artist, but I know I have MADE plenty of friendships b/c of it! My artist friends (those I have met personally and those I have yet to meet in person) are very important to me and inspire and encourage me all the time. And, honestly, if any of my friends can’t handle me being “half-a-bubble-off-center” (as my woodworker husband fondly says of me), then they aren’t my friends. Period. I don’t have time to mess around with relationships. I cherish my “sistahs” and friends and am blessed to have more of them than I can keep up with on a regular basis. But when we connect, we are right there, relishing and enjoying and “what if-ing” each other, wondering why it’s always so long between our conversations, etc. I consider myself lucky, indeed!

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By: Susan Troy

Sat, 11 Jun 2016 03:28:44 +0000

I can’t say I have lost friends by becoming an artist, but I have certainly made a lot of new ones.
Being an artist can be lonely and I think you have to first accept the fact that you may not get all the support you want from your family. I found it really hard at first to say I was an artist, but then I got used to it.

Oddly, the more I work in art, my kids and husband are beginning to get interested in what I do. And, I think, respect it. But it hasn’t been easy and sometimes I envy people who have really strong support from their spouses. It seems like it might make this journey a bit easier…

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